i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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