i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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