he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
40s are totally the cure
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize