So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If I die, sorry about rent.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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