White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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