weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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