i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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