I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
