he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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