This dress was meant to end up on your floor
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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