Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
