Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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