Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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