A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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