I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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