i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
