I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
