I didn't shave. On purpose
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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