I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
