Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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