i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
