Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
