Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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