We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
