So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
