ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
