im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
