shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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