I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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