break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
