My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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