Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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