Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
