I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
