Sry I called you an 8
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
