that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize