The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
