oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
