he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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