You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
