walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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