nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
