Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
