Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
