I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
