please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
