last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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