Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
