Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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