Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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