He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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