is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
