My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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