Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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