Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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