everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
it was like eating out sand paper
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
