How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
