I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
