his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
