She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
there is puke in my bra ... again
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