do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
