im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
