Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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