Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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